Saturday, January 17, 2015

My Safe Haven.

It has been a while. A really long while. The worries and responsibilities of the city life were eating at me, slowly, painfully, silently. I had to keep going, for what reason? I don't know anymore. I thought at first it was for the sake of other people who depend on my existence as a part of the whole food chain in corporations, that they need me crucially but at the same time, they do not even know my name. Therefore, I asked myself the million-dollar question “is it worth it?”

it was my breaking point. I was fed up, I had to break away from the noise and burdens of life that were gradually turning me into an emotionless, hollow robot that follows a mind-numbing, dull sequence on a daily basis. There was always that other persona inside me that was straining to get out, to be let free, that was slowly dying from my robotic actions that at some point, stopped nagging me to do something that is energetic and active, because that voice started losing hope in me finding the courage to break away from the rules. Not anymore.

I ran away, to a place where no one could find me, where I can lose myself in the silence and inaudibility, and release my tormented soul from its state of hibernation and roam around for the first time in ages.

It was like crossing a bridge, that lead to an alternate universe where bright screens or ear piercing horns doesn’t make an attendance, it was only me, myself and I.

The sound of silence, such a strange feeling that crept on me as soon as I got out of car and took a look at the scene in front of me that could only be crafted by the power above. And because the silence was mocking me, I did the thing I’ve been wanting to do for a really agonizingly long time.

I screamed.

The ground that was coated with green grass shook beneath me as I strained my vocal cords, flowers scattered around the meadow with the colors of the rainbow and more lolled about in happiness and relief for my liberation, the mountains looking high and mighty, it was surreal. I wanted to stay like this forever, laying on the soft grass with smell of flowers invading my nostrils and the clear sky cleansing my spirit from the filth and mold that was devouring what was left of me.

Oh how I wish to stay like this forever, taking a breather for a countless amount of time without my conscience dragging me back to my ugly reality ,my muscles finally started relaxing and I felt my eyes starting to droop till all what I can remember is welcoming darkness.

I open my eyes and the first thing I see is the beautiful sunset greeting my sight, which made me question for how long was I dozed off in dreamland. Nevertheless, I overlooked it, when I looked at my watch I realized it was the first time I checked the time ever since I came to this paradise. With a sorrowful sigh, I knew my time here came to an end. I have to go back to my prison of four walls and a desk with tons of paperwork.

Before I get in my car, I take one last look, taking everything in and smiling to myself knowing that this will not be the last I come here.

Copyright © 2015 Yasmin Mohamed El Ali. All rights reserved.